$ not found! (A)bort (R)efinance (D)eclare Bankruptcy ? (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (F)ail, (N)uke... (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened (hic) BWave 2.10 (hic) BWave 2.10 * My computer is drunk ... .drawkcab ni deggulp draobyek ym tog ev'I kniht I 640K should be enough for anyone. -Bill Gates A $500 CPU will protect a $10 surge protector A feature is a bug with seniority. A life? From what board can I down load that? A programmer: A machine for converting coffee to software. Afraid of a hard drive crash?.. Install airbags! Aliens have invaded Earth! How else do you explain Windows? All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. Annoy the IRS: Fill out your tax form using binary Another good day; the computer is still working! Apathy ERROR: Don't Bother Striking Any Key. Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419. Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch! Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic Bad command or filename. Go stand in the corner. Been involved in a disk crash? Call the PC Attorney 1-800-555-1212 C:\ The Prime Directory C:\BUSH.EXE Bad President or File Name C:\KOHL.EXE Bad Cancelor or File Name C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\RUN C:\COMPUTER\CRAWL C:\WINDOWS\RUN C:\WINDOWS\CRASH C:\COMPUTER\DIE Clap On *CLAP* *CLAP* Clap Off *CLAP* *CL*$*(@)F{]/~` NO CARRIER COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out. Computer: a device for generating mistakes at high speed. Computers don't get mad...they get even! [FILE NOT FOUND] Conform, Go Crazy or become a Programmer. Disk Error on C: - (A)bort, (R)etry, (D)estruct Documentation - The worst part of programming. DOS Error #666: Computer Possessed! DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"... DOS=HIGH? I *knew* it was on something! Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded! Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now everywhere. Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can. Earth shutting down in five minutes--please save all files and log out Email returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. Enter "FORMAT C:" to continue.... Error - Operator out of memory! ERROR #0032: KEYBOARD NOT RESPONDING! Use Hammer? (Y/N) ERROR #0141: Too many errors. ERROR #34BB: Thought not found: Reformat Brain (Y/N)? Error finding REALITY.SYS - Universe halted. Load UNIVERSE.ALT (Y/N)? Error opening CLINTON.LIE Cannot recover COUNTRY.USA ERROR: Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN - Eat logitech mouse instead (Y/n)? ___ ERROR: finding REALITY.SYS - Universe halted. ERROR: LPT1 not found... use backup - PENCIL & PAPER Failure reading left brain: (a)bort (r)etry (F)rolic Fatal error in LIFE.SYS: Deleting SYSOP Fatal Error: Size of thought exceeds available memory Fatal Error: User Executed File not found (A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer? File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) File Not Found...Delete User instead? (Y/y) Fingers not found - Pound head on keyboard to continue. garbage_out = x / (garbage_in + randomize(y)) Go straight to the docs. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200! Have you ever wished you could download a pizza? Hell (n): Backing up a 1 GB drive with 8" floppies I have a dream: Dir C: 345,932,938,999,011,234,543 free. I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere! I parked my hard disk - and got a ticket! I push the TURBO button on my PC real hard whenever I'm in a hurry. I typed FORMAT CON: and my screen went blank... I used to have a life. Now I have a modem. If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL! If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. I'm NOT addicted. I just use the modem all the time. I've lost my mind..if you find it please upload it to this bbs.... Keyboard: a device for entering mistakes into a computer. MAC error message: Like, hey dude, something went wrong. Macintosh - when you need your software spoon-fed to you. Mafia DOS: "Thisa you lasta chance [Y/N]?" Mail not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic (B)lame sysop MANIAC - An early computer built by nuts. New from iNTEL - The Pentium(tm) Space Heater, $799.95! New Mail not found. Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N) New Opcode #1: AAR - Alter At Random New Opcode #14: IIRW - Ignore Instructions and Run Wild New Opcode #16: PHD - Plow Heads into Disk New Opcode #17: EXP - EXecute Programmer New Opcode #18: RAH - Ruin All Hardware New Opcode #2: BNA - Branch to Nonexistant Address New Opcode #3: ROC - Randomize OpCodes New Opcode #4: HCF - Halt and Catch Fire New Opcode #5: RRM - Randomly Reallocate Memory New Opcode #6: SEX - Spawn EXec (create child process) New Opcode #7: LIA - Load Incorrect Address New Opcode #8: IPX - Increase Power and eXplode New Opcode: BAH - Branch And Hang New Opcode: BCM - Backspace Core Memory New Opcode: BSA - Branch if Saturday New Opcode: CBVD - Convert Blanks to Valid Dat New Opcode: CPTCB - Call Programmer and Take Coffee Break New Opcode: CRN - Convert to Roman Numerals New Opcode: EPI - Execute Programmer Immediately New Opcode: PII - Perform Intended Instruction New Opcode: RST - Rewind and Streach Tape New Opcode: SSD - Seek and Scar Disk Not tonight, dear. I have a modem. Nothing is 100% certain, bug free, or IBM compatible. OS/2 for PS/2:Half an operating system for half a computer Press any key to continue or any other key to quit Programmers don't die, they GOSUB without RETURN Programming is like sex: one mistake and you support it for life. RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure! REALITY.SYS corrupted -- Reboot Universe (Y/N)? Right To Life Virus: Won't allow you to delete a file... SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . Software independent: Won't work with ANY software. Sorry, a fatal error has occured. You're dead. SysProg Awful Words#04: "I've never seen this happen before." SysProg Awful Words#2: "When was our last backup done?" SysProg Awful Words#23: "What do you mean, you put it in production?!" System Error: (A)bort, (R)etry, (C)onsume Chocolate SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue... System halted - Press any key to do nothing. Terminator virus found. Hiding in file 'ILLBE.BAK' The "Any" key? See the red button marked "Reset?" They can have my modem... when they pry it from my cold dead fingers. To err is human; to really botch things requires a sysop. User - a technical term used by computer pros. See idiot. User error: Replace user and press ENTER. void main (void) { if (windows=="useful") hell=frozen } We all live in a yellow subroutine. Whaddya mean you don't STAPLE diskette labels on. while(1==0) { printf("Re-Elect Clinton!\n"); } Who is General Failure and why's he reading my hard disk? Windows: a virus with mouse support. World ending in 5 minutes. Please log off. Write on the blackboard 500 times: "I will not dereference pointers"